my sistar!!

i said that i will take every mel-agnes moment

haha

invented that name myself^^

i called her that day

she told me that she's having problem with her friend

i'm so happy

she shared her pain with me

like how i always did

she's worried about our relationship

i'm touched

i always feel that we are not that close

but

now i know

and i believe

she is true to me

and so do i

without her

i cant change

myself

without her

i cant really

achieve anything

without her

my life

won't be this happy

this is what i want from my friend

listen to me

understand me always

happy with me

sad with me

shared our secret

cheer each other up

always there for each another

love ya<3

17 days to go

it's my birthday soon

it's on Monday

i don't know who is ever going to celebrate with me

wait...it should be

who will ever BOTHER to celebrate with me

i always carry this thought

i feel that if i constantly treat people very nice

they will treat me nice or even better

but things happen to prove that i'm wrong

i just think too much

indeed

nobody will think of me

i cant explain

but i can see that i'm nothing

just nothing

i don't want a birthday

where people are faked

acting all day round

neither do i want a "forever alone" birthday

i wish that my 13th birthday will just repeat every year

i can never ever forget my 13th birthday

by the way

thank you sisters!

i always make everyone know my birthday indirectly

but

this year

am i going to do that?

NO.

learn

how

to

have

a

forever

alone

birthday

you

dumb

!!

stressed =[

so stress...

mid year coming in like 2 weeks time

and i'm not even started to prepare anything yet

i'm afraid...

i cant do well again for my MYE

it's all just so scary

i really feel like just to give up everything

but think of my family and those that concern about me

i cant just leave things like this

and go to another place myself

i'm good at being weird

i'm good at saying nonsense

i'm good at keeping all my feelings the other way

i'm good at messing up my life

i'm just an irritate...

i just want love and care from my friend

i just want everyone to stay together in peace and harmony

i just want everything to be smooth

i just want a person that will pay attention to me

even to those small details

i will be very grateful

i will be very happy

i will be very touched

that's all i want

and i realized that it's really hard to achieve

even i cant keep my promise

should i expect other people to keep their promises too?

my life is just full of shit

where people just keep coming in to disturb

to destroy

i just want a small little castle in my life

where no one can come in

but

too bad

this society just forbid me from doing this

just want to forced me....