what to do?

i really want to be involved

but i really felt that

i'm left out

i'm tired of squeezing myself in

i'm hurt of being forget

you are the one hurting me

yet you want to console me

hello

are you getting the facts right??

stop faking

and dont treat me like this

if you don't want me to do anything...

okay?

mood spoiled

do you really understand that

i don't really get angry

not really upset

is just that you are being a mood spoiler

and my mood is totally spoiled by that particular incident

if things continue to happen

it just add up to my unhappiness

and cause frustration

frustration add up to be emotional

and everything

comes out

unwanted words come out

tears comes out

feelings comes out

everything comes out

that's it.

i'm jealous

even my sister is more popular than me

she has more notification than me

she has more SMSes than me

she received more calls than me

she has more friends than me

she is cuter than me

she is thinner than me

she is more adorable than me

she is much much better than me

so i'm jealous

people treat her better than me

i love her

but i cant

control myself from quarelling with her

just because

i'm jealous!!!!!

ming bai ma??? 0.o

100th post

it's my 100th post

not happy

cause no mood today..

i'm sick

and i don't want to go for course

people around me are changing

or it is just me that is changing

i dont like changes

it's kinda hard to accept

and to adapt

i don't like new environment

it really hurt

in some kind of way

i thought that 100th post will be far far away

but it doesn't seem like one

so i think

my 150th

200th

250th

even 2000th

will come very fast

hwaiting^^

第五年了

呵呵

我的部落格

五岁了

什么时候过的生日

我不清楚

因为我的第一个po

因为一些不讲理

又没有大脑的人

删掉了

呜呜呜

唉

哭也没用

这里是

我抒发心情的天堂

我知道我还有依靠

不管是心灵

还是身理

所以我还是幸福的

我还是会快乐的

对吧??

be considerate

it's true

just because i don't show how much i care

doesn't mean that i don't

i CARE!!

i care when people ignore me

i care when people are being inconsiderate

i care when people are doing things purposely

i care when people hurt me

i care when i am being left out

i care when i was dumped

i care when people forget me

i don't SHOW

why should i show

when

nobody

CARES??

no use

when people get use to your CARES

and they start to don't CARE

i'm being very demanding too

so

i don't expect people to be nice

i just didn't expect that

people were this bad.

忍了很久

临时说不去就不去

那我呢

当我是什么

每个人都这样

答应我了

然后

到最后

什么都没做到

也许是我待事太认真

但是

这就是你们对待事情的态度?

让人怀希望

然后全盘破坏？

你们觉得这是对的.

我很烦

不知道能怎样

我很辛苦

放不下又忘不掉

想诉苦

又找不到合适的对象

这

到底

是

怎样

的

生活

？

？？

意思在哪里？？

being ignored..

i don't like the feeling of being ignored

maybe you can deal with it

but

i cant

you are just making me very confused

add me as friend

and try to be friendly for the first few days

and then

what happens next?

ignore

ignore

and ignore

it's just hard to communicate.

felt so emo and guilty =[

okay

i missed the practice this morning..

and i didn't do it purposely

seriously

my feelings are damn bad today.

am i expected to ask the time every moment?

wasn't i supposed to be informed that i should go?

didn't i tell you that notify me when should i go?

so

it is entirely me fault now?

no

i don't think so.

i'm not blaming anyone

i'm not angry

i'm just upset with myself

why cant i do a good job

when i am supposed to?

why cant i do my part of responsibility

when i promised somebody?

when cant i put on a smile

when i don't feel like smiling

and everyone else are expecting it?

i'm okay now.

not angry

not sad

not upset

not emo

it just spoiled my mood for the rest of the day

understand?